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A label For the Ediots Guide
On a hairdryer:Do not use while sleeping
On a bag of chips: You could be a winner, no purchase necessary, details inside.
on a bar of soap: Use like regular soap.
On some frozen dinners: serving sugestion: defrost.
On a box with a cake inside: (printed on bottom of box) do not turn upside down.
On packaged bread pudding: product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for an iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On chilrens' cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On peanuts:Warning: contains nuts.
On a packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
So don't forget to check labels & let me know if you find any labels for idiots!
||GOOD JOKES GOOD JOKES
Toy cars, I want more toy cars. Lots and lots of toy cars.
A letter from a redneck mom to a redneck son.
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funderal bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safery. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home
Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
Another Dumb Blonde
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''
||Funniest Joke in THE world
Whats The difference Beatween a Teacher and A Choo Choo train the teacher says spit the gum out and the Train Says CHEW CHEW HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!